Random Musings

I've lately been ruminating on what relationships really , outside of personal feelings, mean. If I were to take away what I (hypothetically speaking of course, it could be anyone at all, and not just me; I just don't like using the passive voice while writing) perceive as the truth, or core of a relationship; what's left. And moreover, does it even really matter? Could it just be random metaphysical musings? Or is there any real substance on a relationship with someone other than the perspective that one can actually observe (or attempt to observe) from?

Furthermore, does it even really matter? Aren't we all so tainted by our own observational frame-work that we can't see out beyond it. Sort of like losing the forest for the trees, but much more meta than the usual scope of that statement.

The reasoning behind this specific tangent of thought really has to do the fact that I tend to (at least, I think that I do), tend to just pour my shit into people. At least the leftovers, a lot of it I try to put into writing and music. It just seems to me as self-centered and solipsistic as can be, especially because I try to make my life's main principle is to help those that I love and am lucky enough to be loved by.

But I still feel like I'm unfair to people by doing this. I've always thought about life as a series of reciprocals. Making music helps you listen to music. Writing helps you read. watching helps you truly see. Listening helps you speak. And all of these are usually true in the inverse too. It just turns out that this theory isn't perfect in the end, at least not for my purposes; insofar as telling doesn't really help you hear (at least, it seems).

It was probably just a little to symmetrical to be true. I don't know, really, it's just the ravings of a madman. At a last though, it would be hypocritical of me to not say this at least; I don't know why it's so difficult for me to accept help, if I'm so willing to try and give it.